Last week Millie was taken to a new home after recovering from another fight on March 3rd. I miss her happy-go-lucky attitude, her constant grin and her "squishy belly" which had it's very own chant - "Squishy belly, squishy belly, squishy belly - HEY!" Her last week with us was full of fun and doting on her. Emma went to stay with Gabe's parents after continually trying to get Millie despite the muzzle and Millie got to break all of the rules. I think Millie ate more treats last week than she's had all year, and she was allowed upstairs and allowed to sleep with us. We talked and snuggled with her a lot, cried a lot and told her how much we love her.

On Thursday Ex. #1 decided that he couldn't handle being the one to drive Millie to the new house so instead he went out to work on music and I got to take her. I had given her a bath, washed all of her toys and cleaned out her crate. She knew that there was something wrong and wouldn't eat that day. About 10 pm I drove South to the house of a guy we work with and got Millie out of the car. I had tied a bandana around her neck with and ice cream cone design on it, and had written his two young daughters a note about all of Millie's favorite things.

When Millie and I entered the house it filled with the sound of little girls giggling. His daughters are 5 and 6 and this is their first dog. I taught them Millie's tricks and had them give her treats. I told them about her toys and how much she loves to play. I could tell that they loved her immediately and reluctantly left, even though I knew that things were going to work out.

I sobbed all of the way home. All that I could think of is the beat up puppy who found us over half a year ago, who did nothing but love us and even loved Emma despite the abuse she received from her. I thought about all the snuggling we did when it was just me and the girls in Austin, and how when she got so excited while playing the she just couldn't stand it anymore she would spin around in a circle, normally three full turns, before she blissfully flopped onto her side in the grass. I still think about how much Ex. #1 is hurting. This is the first time he's ever had to let go of something he's loved and I don't think that he has decided yet how to react.

My house is cleaner now that my long haired dog is gone and Emma is back and her self again. Interacting with Emma you would never guess that she is capable of the damage I've seen her do. She seems to miss Millie, but she also seems a little bit happier. My heart is broken, but I know that if we had continued to try and figure out a way to keep both pets one would have wound up dead instead of down the street - but my heart is broken.

Ex. #1 says,

"Millie, do you want to play Final Fantasy XI?" Millie says nothing. Gabe continues, "Do you think your mother's education is over-rated?" Millie sneezes.

Emmable Lector

Maybe I'm a horrible person, but I like my dogs, and I want to be able to keep them both alive. So when the dog fighting continued, including a fight the other night that required both me and Ex. #1 to pull apart, his feet on Emma's chest, me pulling her jaws apart to make her release Millie, I knew that we had to do something. I called Sam in tears and she offered to take Millie for a while, but I knew that Ex. #1's heart would be broken. Last night I was telling my friend Lauren about it when Ex. #1 said "We should just muzzle Emma." THAT'S IT! He bought a nice soft nylon muzzle and it has pretty much stopped the problem. Emma doesn't have to wear it all of the time, but she does have to wear it when she's going to be around Millie. So far she has tried to bite Millie twice, and both times it has stopped her as soon as she could get her mouth open. Until I can find some training this'll do.

When we come home Ex. #1 says, "Are the lambs crying Emma?"
OR we talk about her ninja moves, because it's black and covers her face like a ninja's.

Is this bad?

What Happened After I Left Austin?

The night of Tuesday the 18th was simple. All I had to do was go to class, meet Ex. #1 and his parents for dinner, and go to a meeting at work at 10pm:

The first two go off without a hitch; However, when I get home I find my two dogs at the foot of the stairs, instead of in our room where we leave them, in a puddle of piss and blood. I call work and explain why I won't be able to make it and then rush my girls off to the emergency vet. I get home hours later at 2 am and begin the antibiotic regimine for Mildred, whose eyelid is torn up, and who has a puncture would so massive I could fit part of my pinikie inside of it. I skip school the next day to watch Millie and then go to work after Ex. #1 gets home. While at work I find out that I am suspended from my next two shifts for missing the meeting. Come home from work sad broke and full of PMS rage to have Ex. #1 tell me that Emma has gone after Millie again, and that if she keeps it up we'll have to do something. AND CRY - A LOT.

Things have gotten better since. Sara is out of the hospital, she's even gone to school twice.

I am such a horrible student. I am supposed to be finishing up a paper that is already late, and instead I've been surfing. It's due by 3pm.
I am so very ready to leave Austin. I spent the weekend in Dallas unpacking and now I'm lonely for it. All I'm waiting on is Faux Pas. There is a new option for him, I just have to hear from the vet how his navicular is. If it is not too severe he will move to Leander to become a lesson horse. He had X-rays Monday. I wish that they would just call me back!
I can't think about this paper, all I can think about is packing and sleeping.
The apartment is WONDERFUL. Out side there are trees with changing leaves, there is a park with in walking distance with tons of birds, Millie and I played and rushed the birds. We have a gas fireplace and a large closet. It's so cool. Dec 11th will hopefully be my last night here. For all you Austinites : There will be some sort of celebration before I leave. And I'm sorry but I am so broke that this year you all get festive cards for Christmas. I know that you have all been here and can understand.
Guess I'll try and write something important about Shakespeare now.

Dallas, Tx

The following are photos from my last trip to Dallas. Here is Millie eyeing the camera. She just couldn't sit still long enough for the photo I was trying to get.

I've become one of the bloggers I despise!

But when am I supposed to post? I am normally sleeping between 11 and 7 now with the restaurant job, tonight's a special occasion. I'm going to Dallas and felt I needed to get things done, so I took a quick nap earlier and then got busy on my long "to do" list.
So far I've only been partially successful. My printer isn't working, so I can't print my lab for next week, I haven't really packed clothes, but I have put some away, and I haven't responded to any emails or mapped out my reading for this weekend.
As far as new things: My moving to Dallas is definite, I told my mother and my grandparents. I've broken my Catholic family's heart, so it will be done. I haven't figured out why they believe I'm still a virgin (it was brought up by my grandparents), but I let that one slide.
On the puppy front I've got Millie, she was fixed yesterday, I was SO NERVOUS! She's fine, she just forgets that she can't play as hard as she normally does because it hurts, and give a little yelp here and there. Hopefully she'll heal quickly. Talking about my dogs makes me feel like a parent who thinks you care about their baby's 4th tooth and last bowel movement. You know the ones.
I am, FOR REAL, trying to rock this semester so that I can transfer with a good conscience, we'll see if it lasts.
I was given the option to get engaged and get the ring I dream of and I turned it down, told Ex. #1 to buy the amp he's in love with instead. I figure if we're living together to see if we can co-habitate peacefully then why not do that before dropping $2,500 on a ring for me? I'm proud of myself. After all, if it had happened three months ago I would have had him get it.
I'm gonna say "adios" for now, I have to take my little sis to school in two hours and would like to get some shut-eye first.

Here we all are, even Millie at my right. This is the morning after, once we started to feel better. I love this picture. 

MIllie was very uncomfortable using the bathroom while on a leash. This is try #3 Sunday morning, and it's only 8:15 am! 

A Fit of Hysterics

I'm trying not to be a Puritan about this (The worst joke I've made all day?) but I'm still a little on the emotional side, and sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between a sign or omen in your life (though the way I mean seems much less superstitious than the words choice implies) and sheer clumsiness. The pearl fell out of my ring from Ex. #1, I can't find it and I can't get a hold of him. Of course I've only sent him a text message, no call and chances are he's asleep but my insecurities are trying to get me to think differently. I'm trying not to fall into the category of insanely jealous, crazy girlfriend. I have talked to him twice today (Millie is learning how to swim, she loves it.) so what is my DEAL??

Remember crazy swan dreams? Ex. #1 got to have sex dreams. I'm so jealous! The superstitious side of me wonders if there is any correlation between how much I missed him and wanted to see him, and what he dreamt. Last weekend I only saw him for three hours and that only made it worse. I'm trying to plan an overnight trip to Waco for next weekend, and then I'm spending the whole next weekend in Dallas.

It's the Little Things..

For all of you who were having trouble sleeping last night don't worry, Ex. #1's eye is fine. He went to the Doctor today and they gave him some eye drops that I assume are anti-inflammatory. He has decided that once his moron-friend gives him the $111 he is owed he will break-off any left-over ties to that guy.

Unless someone calls me tomorrow it looks like Millie will be going to Dallas Saturday to live with Ex. #1. Now that she is healthier she is quite the puppy! She has chewed up both of her bowls, a dog-brush, her old collar, and pulled her bed out of the crate and strewn pieces of it about the back yard. You would think that she didn't have any toys out there but she does! All kinds of durable, chewable things. She even ate a tiny lavender seedling and the pot it was growing in. Bless her little puppy heart, I am going to miss her. She slept with me today all snuggled up like a hairy little heater.

I found the point I need on my test, now all I need is contact with the professor so that I can get the point, and get my passing grade. If he doesn't email me tomorrow I am calling him on Monday.

My little sister had a date tonight! My parents were standing in the driveway when he brought her home - How embarrassing! They never did that stuff to me, but I never had dates either.

Isn't it weird how you can go a long time knowing someone very generally with out really knowing anything about them? I knew Kerri on the bus for 2 years before knowing anything about her and now I'm SO GLAD I met her. Ellie was in my NALit class last semester and I knew only who she was and now that we are in the same class I know so much more about her. It was the same way with Tracey, and Alex. Apparently I am really good at making last minute friends. But Ellie and I talked for 1 1/2 hours today after class instead of studying or going home. Hopefully she was enjoying herself and not thinking, "My God does this girl shut up?" I tried not to be my usual self and let her have her word in edgewise. It amazes me that I have such incredible people around me at al times and I never know it.

I got a new camera, expect to see more pictures soon, as well as an audio clip on my profile. Yay! So far all I have recorded is a small clip of me singing, I'm not sure how I feel about that idea.

And last: Security. Last night he said, "Where I'm living - Taylor got them a new HEB and they got them a new Wal-Mart. I'm excited to see what they got in that new Wal-Mart." I wanted to ask who Taylor was and why he was handing out stores to people. Instead I decided to burst his bubble and said, "I bet they have all of the same things all of the other Wal-Marts have." I also realized last night that he has a hump, like Igor. This explains why he walks sort of hunched over. He scoots along with his head sorta tilted (plus his ticks). My mom said she felt sorry for him. I told her to try and work with him two days in a row and see how she felt, So she told me I should be praying about this.

Ta-da! Tying for 1st with Emma for the cutest dog EVER - Mildred! 

Remember the Found Dog Ad?

It's ironic that I found it, because Saturday morning I found a VERY SKINNY puppy at the partially constructed house next door. Of course she had a collar and NO TAGS! She's also kind of beat-up with some cuts on her face paws and legs. She and Emma have gotten along swimmingly except for once incident. Man can this puppy put away food! She eats twice as much as Emma and at a ferocious speed. She does not get mad if Emma eats her food either. Strange sweet girl. Ex. #1 fell in love with her the first time he looked into her big brown eyes. We swore we wouldn't name her, and we've made a poster to put up in the neighborhood, but he's already talking about taking her home with him. He didn't last long with that idea and named her Mildred because it was an old fashioned name to go with Emma. She prefers "Millie" and will respond to it.

It's hard to justify putting up a sign advertising the fact that we found a dog and inviting the owner to claim her when she is so underweight and cut-up. But who knows how long she's been loose? 3 days, 3 weeks? Maybe it was not their fault she is in bad shape. Plus, I would want someone to do the same for me were Emma to get out.

Until the cards are played and we know whether or not she is moving to Dallas I am going to care for her. When I adopted Emma she was severely underweight and the vet told me to feed her chicken and rice with her dog food. It worked well so now I am going to do it for Millie, just to see how much weight she can put on in one week. Hopefully she doesn't mind brown rice, it's all I have!
I have pictures of her, but I cannot download "Hello" to the computers here at work, so I will post them later today. She's so beautiful!