Last night I actually did laundry. Yay! The plants are still inside, and I still need to vacuum, and get rid of some recycleables, but I made some progress.
I also stayed up RIDICULOUSLY LATE. For no reason. I think I am going to have to try taking the sweet sweet Lunesta the doctor's office gave me to knock myself back into a sleep schedule. If not? I'll be hallucinating soon.

This is a documentation of Emma's thoughts over 2 minutes:

MOM!

scratch ears?

Scratch Ears.

SCRATCH EARS! OH PLEEEEEEASE!

food?

Squirrles?

Bark
Bark
People!
I'll BARK!

I'm sorry for barking so much, don't be mad? I know you hate loud noices. Scratch ears?

walk?

Walk.

WALK! PLEEEEEEEASE!

Squirrles?

Kitties?

Food?

He says something like, "If God is love, and love is blind, then how can God see us kneeling before him in prayer?"

Last night I decided I didn't care if I felt bad. I was going to work out anyway. After all, I've been avoiding exerting myself for over a week thinking I was about to get sick - trying to stop it. Well, that worked.

So I did yoga, I jumped rope for 5 minutes, and then Emma and I went for a brisk walk for a half hour. I felt really good afterwards. I did some laundry and got to go to bed on clean sheets.

Today has been uneventful. I am back on meds, and that 'brightened' my day. It also gave me a headache.

As I got onto the bus for my 2 o'clock class I grabbed a book that has been lurking behind the seat of my truck. It was a $5.oo book at Intellectual Property back at the beginning of the semester when it first opened it's doors. Since 2pm I've read 192 pages. It's a book that mainly addresses the struggle of spirituality. I love books that address spirituality, as I feel I often lack it. Here is a little passage that caught my attention, from Page 83:

"Tell me," you continue in a gentler, more earnest tone. "Do you
believe that a fledgling Buddhist, someone who likes kids and does volunteer
work every Sunday evening and meditates pretty much every day - for the sake of argument we'll call meditation 'prayer' - so he prays every day- he's a
truth seeker- someone who aspires to a life filled with love and patience and
who tries to conduct himself by a moral code that's fairly Christian in
nature - will that person, despite his pursuit of those goals, be condemned to
hell solely because he doesn't believe that Christ is God?"

"Any person who truly loves will go to heaven."

"Who then goes to hell?"

"Someone who imposes hell on himself. Someone who says that he wants
to have no part of God, no part of love, no part of joy. It's all about the
disposition of the heart, Carter. God is, quite literally, love."

Patty Hearst was a snake.

That's what I named it while it stubbornly hid. Three hours after I first saw it I gave up and went to lay on the couch when, voila! It appeared, moving toward the couch. Emma alerted me to the situation and I acted. I jumped up, grabbed the broom and swept it half way across the house. A fifteen minutes stare down followed because I was so scared. Every time I would try and move it towards the door it would strike at the broom. I finally bit the bullet and then helped it's1 1/2 feet of length find their way outside. MAN did it give me the heebie-jeebies!

There is a fucking snake under my fridge.

I started to fall asleep on the couch when I realized I'd left the back door unlocked. Not wearing my glasses I began to walk through the kitchen to go and lock the door. I saw something on the floor and thought, "Is that a snake? Did Emma bring a dead snake in the house? Gross." By the time I turned around to get my glasses and made it back into the kitchen to see what it was, it was slithering under my fridge.

I don't think it is poisonous. I didn't see bright colors or hear a rattling noise. I still don't know what kind of snake it is.

It has been under there for half an hour. I have tried using a fishing pole, a wire hanger a broom, persuasive speech... nothing is working. I cannot sleep until this slippery guy is back outside where he belongs.

LATE NIGHT UPDATES!

Emma is walking around more. She is drinking water more. However, her eating habits have gotten worse. Since Monday she has eaten a bowl and a half of food, when she should have had six. She has been getting more treats to coax her down stairs, or outside, or even to eat something, but I am thinking of changing my plans for this weekend is I can't get her eating normally before Saturday. I had been planning to go to Dallas and pick up some shifts. I miss my North Texas friends so much! I may be going to the Vet's office instead. So much for extra cash...

I expected my family to show some sort of pleasant indifference for Mr. Adventure. I thought it would be good enough. The votes are in though, and so far everyone REALLY likes him. My mom even wrote me a little note about it. Family members are calling family members who live out of town and telling them about him.

Bring a new person to Easter did make me realize that my family is a little crazier than I thought.

Mr. Adventure is so awesome.

And finally, Faux Pas has shown no more signs of colic, despite our crazy weather. I am beginning to see signs of weight gain on him, which is good since the vet wants him to gain 200 lbs. This is not SO much when you already weigh 1500 lbs.

My dad took Emma for a walk around the lake yesterday.

Let's start this story over again: It was nearly 100 degrees yesterday in Austin. My dad took Emma for a walk around the lake.

The weather took everyone by surprise. None of us were ready for it. After about a mile and a half around the lake two things happened: 1) Emma over heated, 2) Emma's feet blistered from the crushed granite.

My wonderful father carried my 60 lb. dog for almost two miles to get her back to the truck.

When he got home from dinner last night we talked about what had happened, theorized about causes and carried Emma in and out of the house to go to the bathroom. We brought food and water to her bed and encouraged her to eat. (Her recent eating habits are another entry entirely)

My Dad just called me to check on her. He sure does love his granddog.

I love Emma. 

Another night has gone by restlessly. I worked a long shift yesterday. It left me feeling like a hard stiff shell of myself made of grease and garlic stench. Towards the end of the day I was getting close to losing it on customers and co-workers. The table that disregarded the fact that I was hosting and directing traffic for their benefit.

"Hello! Dinner for four?"

"Yeah.." the nonchalantly answered as they sauntered their was across the restaurant, snaking between tables and cutting in front of speeding servers with trays full of food.

"You know, I'll be over there in just a minute to get that table clean and get you set up!" Said with the largest smile possible; thinking, "Fine. You want to do this your way? You can wait at a dirty table."

These sorts of things happened all night. That was at seven and I still had two hours to go.

After work I went to stay with Sara for a while. She is finally in her own room. It's so cave like with the darkness, cool air, and occasional blips that sound like they might be dripping water. Her nausea had gone away and she was feeling a little better. I shared my dinner with her and promised to bring her a salad from work today. About 11pm the nurse came by to give Sara her pain meds. I had been reading to her from The Time Travelers Wife and as the morphine kicked in it made less and less sense.

"Faahgmph. Ohhh, Ah canth chalk sssso eeecy nnow." Sara was blistered.
She indicated that she needed to go to the bathroom and I helped unplug all of her sensors and then watched her hang onto her IV stand in the dark and wobble, toddler like, to the bright out-line of the bathroom door. Once I had her back in bed and the "inflatable stockings," used to keep up circulation in her legs, were securely fashioned I laid down in a reclining chair and slept until it was time for her next dose at 2 am.

I sat here, awake, for two hours reading some, getting up and walking around, planning my day, accomplishing nothing. Utterly empty and exhausted, I finally reclined to read in bed. I turned my head to one said and realized that my sweater smelled like citrus and spicy men's cologne.
I wore this homely sweater the last time I was at Stephen's, and while watching a movie I fell asleep slumped over on him, as I am apt to do. The still and loyal friend he is, he let me stay like that until the movie was over. Last night the smell alone was enough to help me feel better. I curled up around Emma, and used my arm as a pillow, deeply inhaling until I woke up at seven; cable-knit design engraved on the left side of my face. Lights on, music on, clothes on.

Though I am wired, I feel a dangerous kind of tired. My head feels like a stomach does when it is so empty that it starts to make noise. My head is heavy and hungry for sleep. It is starving, because there is really none to be found.

---

Maybe there is something between me and Mr. Ambitious? I am re-living the time I've spent with him when I am at home, and love talking with him. I may do a large part of the talking, that's just how I am, but I enjoy listening to him the most.

This will be the last comment until I get off of work. This is really all I can do right now.

I talked to Sara. She is not in a nice dark room at all. She is in a make-shift room in the radiology area with 5 other women. It is loud and it is bright. She has been going through a DHE (I think that is what it is called) therapy, and it is not working at all. Neither is her anti-nausea medicine. Now that she is 17 she can't go to the pediatric neurology wing. Now that she is 17 they won't listen to my mother when she tells them that Sara is in pain and has had a bad night. Sara has to be a grown up and take on a taxing situation, one that is difficult for my mother to navigate, when she can't even get to a bathroom by herself.

I still haven't slept. I'm jumpy and will be all day. I took my mom earplugs and a sleep mask for Sara with some 7 up about 8 this morning.

I just want to help her, and it made me feel a little better. This is when she becomes my little sister. This is when I want to read her stories again. Times like this is wish I could take back all of the stupid sister stuff I've done. I was so mad at her last weekend for deciding not to go to Dallas with me. I was livid, and now I feel awful. Or even the fact that I was mad at her Tuesday for stealing my hair teasing comb (I know, it sucks that I even own one and will admit it). Last time headaches hit it took her out of school for nearly 2 months. That was exactly a year ago. How will she ever make it through college? How will my parents afford college with all of these medical bills?

Depressing. I hate being so out of control. At least in most other situations that involve Sara I have some sort of control. I am always the adult, the responsible one who makes the decisions and makes sure all of her friends get home safe.

-------

I was reading the blog of a friend I've known for years. He was writing about what he wants to accomplish in life. It was an impressive list. He also noted that he wouldn't be able to do all of it, but that it needed to be noted.

I don't know what I want. I don't know where I want to go, or who I'd like to travel with or see. I no longer have ideas about what my future husband is like, or where I'll live. Will I live the way I always dreamed: Make as little an impact on earth as possible, a huge impact on people? I don't even know if I'll ever get back to UT. I needed to go this semester and immediately move on- to get the ball rolling. I needed to have a way to create new goals for myself. I am in a shoebox with a job from high school, the same friends (though I am glad to have them they are a rather small group), and the same place to live. Only difference now is the fact that I have more dependant pets that keep me from being able to travel.

I feel entirely hopeless today. I have to go and spend the next 10 hours pretending to like people and act genuinely interested in what they have to say. I will have to flirt with men my father's age and respond to the old woman who orders hot tea as if I think it's the best idea I've heard all day, in fact if I were sitting down I'd have some too!

If I had my way I'd drive down to town lake with Emma. Then I'd go to campus and pretend to be a student and enjoy the not-winter Texas is currently experiencing. I'd go to Kerby Lane and have a Nabil's Mid-East Feast, Metro and get an iced Vanilla Hazelnut coffee, black. Then I'd walk down s. Congress and window shop. Maybe allow a $15 purchase. Next onto Laguna Gloria to drop in on a ceramics class. My friend Margaux would miraculously be there and we would sneak off into the trees to smoke. I'd show up at Katie and Mikes for Happy Hour, and then I would go to a house I used to live in on Avery Island. I would obviously still live there, and I would open the french doors to the back yard and enjoy a night sipping beer and listening to the Buena Vista Social Club, because it always sounded so good in that house, bouncing off of the tile floors and around the vaulted ceiling. I would sleep on the couch and wake up to sun in the oak trees outside and some man I am deliriously happy to be with and who is also deliriously happy to be in my presence. I would start the whole day over again.

I apologize now for any typos. I don't have time to proof-read, I am late for work.

What in God's name am I doing awake at 6am? I've been awake for over an hour. I know that I went to sleep after midnight with all of the lights on, listening to music in my jammies and a robe. But I am up now? I'm gonna narc out in the middle of the lunch shift tomorrow, or while I'm hostessing. I have a really long shift tomorrow 10am-8pm at least. I'd like to call it a double, but I know the boss won't show up early enough for me to get a break. I was supposed to have the schedule done yesterday. Maybe my guilt is keeping me up? Worry for Sara? Excitement about Faux Pas? Staying out til 6am yesterday? Maybe I've finally become one of those people (who I despise, and don't want to be) who have to get up in the middle of the night to smoke.

Have I finally attained the perfect diurnal sleep schedule?

Am I just having problems sleeping alone?

I'm having a few "alone" problems now. My Dad is out of town, Sara in the hospital now, but before her headache she was always out, or on her way. Everyday I would swear I was going to stay home, clean do laundry, play with Emma, etc. Before I'd get into my driveway I would have something lined up, someone coming over, plans for something. Tonight I didn't. I put myself in an internet coma. I read The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger. Which I am having a little trouble getting into. I think that is only because the time-line is a little strange.

Now I am up and I am realizing I need to do the schedule, and that I need to find someplace to sleep this weekend if I go to Dallas on Saturday to get Faux Pas, and decide to stay the night.

One sleep problem to another.

Goodnight.

I'm sitting at my computer trying to get started on those papers due tomorrow, Emma is sleeping behind me, lost in a foot-twitching dream. The cat is asleep on the windowsill infront of me when all of the sudden I am hit with a RANK, make you want to gag, smell.
I tried to let it go - Emma is in a deep sleep, she had been at the farm with me and ate some pretty gross stuff. But then the second wave hit - this time the cat woke up and looked at me as if to say, "For God's sake woman do something about that stench!" So I turned to Emma and said, "Look honey, you have to stop farting. If you don't I'm going to put you in the garage. " She looked at me with squinty eyes and wagged her tail to help disperse the smell and went back to sleep.

We'll Be Home Soon

We put an offer on a house yesterday and they have accepted it! Ex. #1 called and tried to make me think that the home owners had chosen the other offer they had received the same day, but I knew what he was going to say, he wasn't upset enough to convience me. I am so happy! I will be able to work on the computer while Ex. #1 sleeps in another room, and I will be able to fit all of my cook-ware and dishes in cabinets and not have to stash them creatively about the kitchen and I won't have to walk around with Emma and wait for her to go to the bathroom, I can just let her out in the back yard! The list goes on, but I won't bore you.

Last week Millie was taken to a new home after recovering from another fight on March 3rd. I miss her happy-go-lucky attitude, her constant grin and her "squishy belly" which had it's very own chant - "Squishy belly, squishy belly, squishy belly - HEY!" Her last week with us was full of fun and doting on her. Emma went to stay with Gabe's parents after continually trying to get Millie despite the muzzle and Millie got to break all of the rules. I think Millie ate more treats last week than she's had all year, and she was allowed upstairs and allowed to sleep with us. We talked and snuggled with her a lot, cried a lot and told her how much we love her.

On Thursday Ex. #1 decided that he couldn't handle being the one to drive Millie to the new house so instead he went out to work on music and I got to take her. I had given her a bath, washed all of her toys and cleaned out her crate. She knew that there was something wrong and wouldn't eat that day. About 10 pm I drove South to the house of a guy we work with and got Millie out of the car. I had tied a bandana around her neck with and ice cream cone design on it, and had written his two young daughters a note about all of Millie's favorite things.

When Millie and I entered the house it filled with the sound of little girls giggling. His daughters are 5 and 6 and this is their first dog. I taught them Millie's tricks and had them give her treats. I told them about her toys and how much she loves to play. I could tell that they loved her immediately and reluctantly left, even though I knew that things were going to work out.

I sobbed all of the way home. All that I could think of is the beat up puppy who found us over half a year ago, who did nothing but love us and even loved Emma despite the abuse she received from her. I thought about all the snuggling we did when it was just me and the girls in Austin, and how when she got so excited while playing the she just couldn't stand it anymore she would spin around in a circle, normally three full turns, before she blissfully flopped onto her side in the grass. I still think about how much Ex. #1 is hurting. This is the first time he's ever had to let go of something he's loved and I don't think that he has decided yet how to react.

My house is cleaner now that my long haired dog is gone and Emma is back and her self again. Interacting with Emma you would never guess that she is capable of the damage I've seen her do. She seems to miss Millie, but she also seems a little bit happier. My heart is broken, but I know that if we had continued to try and figure out a way to keep both pets one would have wound up dead instead of down the street - but my heart is broken.

1st time offender

Emma killed a possum last night.
Ex. #1 took her out to "go potty" on the little hill across the parking lot from us. Apparently she saw the possum, bolted over, pounced, gave it 1 or 2 good shakes, dropped it and did her business. Ex. #1 checked it out and said he's pretty sure she broke it's neck. We always thought she was a hunting dog...

Emmable Lector

Maybe I'm a horrible person, but I like my dogs, and I want to be able to keep them both alive. So when the dog fighting continued, including a fight the other night that required both me and Ex. #1 to pull apart, his feet on Emma's chest, me pulling her jaws apart to make her release Millie, I knew that we had to do something. I called Sam in tears and she offered to take Millie for a while, but I knew that Ex. #1's heart would be broken. Last night I was telling my friend Lauren about it when Ex. #1 said "We should just muzzle Emma." THAT'S IT! He bought a nice soft nylon muzzle and it has pretty much stopped the problem. Emma doesn't have to wear it all of the time, but she does have to wear it when she's going to be around Millie. So far she has tried to bite Millie twice, and both times it has stopped her as soon as she could get her mouth open. Until I can find some training this'll do.

When we come home Ex. #1 says, "Are the lambs crying Emma?"
OR we talk about her ninja moves, because it's black and covers her face like a ninja's.

Is this bad?

What Happened After I Left Austin?

The night of Tuesday the 18th was simple. All I had to do was go to class, meet Ex. #1 and his parents for dinner, and go to a meeting at work at 10pm:

The first two go off without a hitch; However, when I get home I find my two dogs at the foot of the stairs, instead of in our room where we leave them, in a puddle of piss and blood. I call work and explain why I won't be able to make it and then rush my girls off to the emergency vet. I get home hours later at 2 am and begin the antibiotic regimine for Mildred, whose eyelid is torn up, and who has a puncture would so massive I could fit part of my pinikie inside of it. I skip school the next day to watch Millie and then go to work after Ex. #1 gets home. While at work I find out that I am suspended from my next two shifts for missing the meeting. Come home from work sad broke and full of PMS rage to have Ex. #1 tell me that Emma has gone after Millie again, and that if she keeps it up we'll have to do something. AND CRY - A LOT.

Things have gotten better since. Sara is out of the hospital, she's even gone to school twice.

I had another nightmare last night, and one the night before. Last night's I remember well: I was working in a restaurant and we were working on the presentation of a plate. We were serving dog and the chef suggested that we use Emma as the case display because she is attractive. We did, I cut open my dog and stuffed her with food, and then very gently placed her on a shelf about head level and arranged it so that she looked like she always does when she sleeps. I remember thinking that I would be able to find another dog that looked like her, and I wondered if it would have the same personality. I woke up disgusted.

I talked to Sara last night on my way home from work she was lonely and sad. Her doctors tried a caffiene therapy to break the spnal tap headache earlier in the day and it worked faily well. She was able to take her first shower in days, though she took it sitting down and it exhausted her. My grandparents came and sat with her for a while and my grandmother tried to explain Napoleon Dynamite to her for about 15 minutes before Sara told her that she would just listen. My mom finally let Sara's friends come by, which I think added to Sara's loneliness when it was all over. She'd had so many people around her all day, and than there was no one.
She may have over done it for the day. When I spoke with her she had another killer headache, but she told me how happy she was that I had come to see her, and that she wished that I could have stayed. I tried not to cry while she was on the phone so we talked about what we'll do when she comes to visit me in Dallas once she is feeling better. I think that I may mail my dad a menu from work to show her so she can pick out what she will have for dinner when we go out.

Things I Would Have Posted Previously If I Had Internet

12.29.04
Last night I was thinking, "I should write this down so that I can post it when I have internet." I can't remember exactly what it was, but it was good. Ex. #1 and I went to a party last night at one of his friends houses. There I met the girl that he slept with back in high school. At the time, when a few drinks had already been consumed I thought, "This is the first girl I've met that has slept with him." I took that internal comment back this morning.

The party was great and I had fun. I love Ex. #1's friend Andrew, and watching the boys jam. Once we got home Ex. #1 said, "So, you met her?" I said yes, she had been very nice to me, even conversational. "Huh, 'cause she was like 'You brought your girlfriend?' Like we had broken up recently instead of in high school." What could I do but nod? She was being a mean girl. She was probably thinking of how much better she looked than me while we talked about how great the guys sounded and my recent move. Granted her body rocks, and she totally deserves to think that way, but she was wearing red and white stripes with navy blue and white polka-dots and baby blue heeled boots. If only I'd had my camera for Honey, No!. Sometimes I wonder if Ex. #1 thinks about me the way I do. Does he glance at me and think "What happened?" I've gained 20 lbs since we met 3 ½ years ago. Even 8 months ago I was in as good of shape as I had been when we met. I imagined him thinking those very thoughts last night as I got ready for the party. I put on the shirt I met him in and I saw him glance down towards my waist and make a face. I immediately changed, but I was self conscious all night. It probably wasn't even what was going on, he was probably thinking about something totally different, but to me it was him scowling at my size.

This morning was difficult though. I woke up and Ex. #1 was hung-over, Emma was sick and had shit on the stairs, one of the dogs had shit in the garage last night while we were playing video games, though I'm not sure which. My tire was flat, I went to apply for a job at Tower Records, and grabbed a Leonard Cohen CD that I wanted too, turns out I only have $8.70 left in my accounts. After that I went to Ex. #1's old apartment to clean it up some and found a picture of him with the other woman he dated (who I have met, so I took back the idea that the girl from last night was the first). In the picture he's kissing the side of her face. It's dated 12.24.03 and I was really suddenly very upset that he spent Christmas Eve with her. I just keep thinking I'm over it and then she pops up somehow at the worst possible time and makes me feel so insignificant. I've seen the picture before, it just never bothered me so much.

12.29.04 PART 2

I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! The day was looking not-so-hot, and now it rocks! I'll be working at the restaurant Ex. #1 caters for, but I have a job. I love the place and I am sure it will be awesome. The woman Ex. #1 dated works at one location, but chances are she'll never recognize me, only my name. Everything seems so much better now, it makes me want to get things done!

1.01.05
I love my job! All of the other people I work with are gay men, and it is so much more fun than working with girls.

Feral Dogs Must Eat a Lot of Bugs

When I takes my dogs out at 4am to go to the bathroom that's all they do - catch and eat bugs. I think it's the only thing they can catch. It must tickle as it goes down, but they seem to love eating them. I wonder if bugs are like onion rings or french fries to dogs, something delicious and crispy. During June bug season Emma runs around the back yard snapping at June bugs in the dark until she's eaten all that are inhabitating our back yard that night, and then lays on the back porch in what looks like satiety.
I wish that I had a laptop. I write and think better outside. Plus, so often I think of something that I'd wish to elaborate on while I am on campus, and that attempt to make a note of it and post later is worthless, it never works.
I've reached another point of stagnation in my life. Time is crawling and it feels like I am getting nowhere. I know that I am about to have all of this BIG CHANGE in my life, but this quiet before the storm makes me restless and I'm looking for ways to fill it. Ironically I'm finding ways to avoid things I should be doing to prepare for the move. I need to go to storage and donate or throw away things that I will not use. The boxes and boxes of magazines I am saving for an article or two need to be filtered through. I need to tear out those articles and save them - recycle the rest. I have baskets of clothes waiting for Goodwill. Blankets of Faux Pas' that need to be washed and repaired for winter. Yet if feels like there is nothing happening? I am a walking contradiction. The things that I want to have happen can't yet and so I feel as if my life were on hold. I can't focus on anything else. I live from Dallas trip to Dallas trip, but things there aren't happening at the speed I desire and so I am afraid that it won't work out the way I want. What happens if I don't get into UTD? Ex. #1 lost the e-mail from the locator, so we're back at square 1, from square 2. I don't even know how much longer I'll have to be in school!
Depressing. My dogs are in bed eyeing me, my dad is leaving for work (at 5am, I hope I never do the same. He won't be back here until 6pm) I guess it's time to go back to bed.

Just a quick blurb -

JUST got back from Dallas. My dad is mad because I did not leave my cell phone on. My battery was dying so I figured the best thing to do would be to keep it off so that if I DID have an emergency I would have enough battery saved to be able to call for help. He didn't see things that way. Apparently I should have taken my charger to Dallas with me. Go figure.
We got in touch with an apartment locator this weekend. LOTS of good places Ex. #1 and I wouldn't have found. He seems to have his heart set on these, of course the ONLY way we'll be able to afford them is if we hit a really fantastic special. Then they'll still be at our highest possible allowed rent. I'm trying to talk him out of it, but it would be REALLY REALLY REALLY cool to live there. Great view, cool spot, near everything, safer than Deep Ellum, etc. TONS of amenities. We'll see, it sorta depends on what happens with Faux Pas. I got an offer on him the other day. Oddly there was no price attached to the offer, but knowledge that someone might want to buy him. I almost cried right there, but I've stored it in the back of my mind, just in case. I still can't imagine my life without him. I still want to find a way to keep him, and Ex. #1 is actually encouraging me to do so. What can I say, the boy loves me, expensive hobbies and pets and all.
SPEAKING of expensive pets: Emma has this incontinence problem, and she's supposed to take two pills a day. They're chewable, but she won't chew them, so I put them in peanut butter with her daily benedryl. She stopped eating them already and she's supposed to be on them for the rest of her life! I tried crushing one up tonight and adding the powder to P.B. which is so much harder than it should be. I don't know what I'm going to do.
I'm wrapping things up, I'll let you kids know more as the faux and apartment thing develops, but when you're done reading this please post any employment suggestions you may have, or any tips on how to get certain jobs, I need to find one BEFORE I move to Dallas. So far I've thought: go back to Body Shop, go to AVEDA, go back to a hotel (not nights), work at a bank, substitute teach or wait tables (the only things wrong with this is how tired I get.) The only problem is most of these I'd rather not do, but I guess a job is a job, so if you have any tips/suggestions, let me know!