There is an apartment right in the part of town that I want to live in that is currently vacant. 1-1 with hardwood floors, walking distance of school, no weight restrictions on dogs. I first saw the ad a week or so ago and drove by the place. Today I saw it again and called. The owner Rick is nice and seems very flexible. I wasn't planning on moving until May. I don't have money for deposits. I am going to go by today and look at it anyway. At least I'll have an idea of what it is like so I can check back later to see if they have any vacancies. I could really use a winning $1,000 lottery ticket right now. It would be more than enough to get me through. I could get into the apartment and have my new bike serviced.

I haven't told you about her yet!

I was having bike trouble. I tried to asses the damages on the old bike I had, but it is fucked. After a disappointing attempt at a ride I threw it into the bed of my truck so that I could DRIVE it home and left it there. While resting the dry rot on the tires gave way and one blew. I was so over it.
I called Ellie and told her about it. She offered me her old but perfectly good bike, Chloe (Ellie, if I have misspelled it please let me know). She is a yellow 1975 Schwinn. She is so pretty! I need to get her serviced so that I can RIDE. .:sigh:.

Both situations are similarly frustrating.

The drunkest girl at the party is now the most hungover girl at work.

Ellie, if I can't control myself I am going to have to quit coming over.

At least I remember it all this week.

I have a feeling I'll be remembering it for the next 10 hours.

Ellie

Well, my little note at the top worked. Tonight Ellie called me.

I was so happy to hear from her, and to hear that she too is returning to UT. We will be seniors at the same time. The possibility of taking another class with her is fantastic.

It's funny the way our lives sort of mirror one another. She and I bought houses with our others at the same time, and broke up with said other at the same time. Now we are both deliriously happy with our new others at the same time. Even returning to school at the same time.

It's perfect. This time I remembered to save her new number into my phone.

Unconsious Mutterings...

Out of place :: book
Helicopter :: fire
Francis :: Bergen
Ryan :: Smith
Wedding :: cake
Apalled :: dismay
Historian :: Ellie
Powerful :: engine
Sex symbol :: Prince
Uncomfortable :: shoes

Well... no work done yet. I've caught up on just about everyone. R.E.M. was mentioned in one of my friend's livejournals, and now I ache for UT campus ~60 degrees and headphones on. I am wondering how long I'll be so totally homesick, or if I ever leave Dallas will I miss it? That is hard to believe. I think that Autumn in general makes me nostalgic and lonely. A more golden, less glaring sun makes me want to ride my horse, and wrap up in a blanket on my dad's couch to watch Law & Order all night.

The impending weather (Kids, this is Texas. It may look like Thanksgiving outside, but that is because it is 105 degrees outside and all of the plants are fried, not dormant.) actually makes me miss working at the hotel. I've actually considered going back to nights recently, just because the restaurant sucks so bad. I miss the solitude, and the joy of not having to deal with so many people. If I have one more woman old enough to be my mother wave her arm around in the air at me and shout, "Hey!" across the restaurant, I might just disintegrate into a pile of ashes in black clothing on the Persian rugs in the dining room. Or if one more SMU sorority bitch turns to me, right after I bring her the "just water" she asked for, while my arms are so full of dishes that I am trying to hold away from my body to keep that dressing off of my clothes and keep that steak knife from hitting another customer when you ask me for diet coke - CAN'T YOU SEE I AM A LITTLE BUSY????

I want to go home. I even wonder some times if I could do it all again, would I tell Ex. #1 over the phone, the night we decided to live together, that I would move here? That he shouldn't have to quit his job? Or would I tell him to come back to Austin, work at the country club again. Live where I am happy and stable and content. The most important friends I have - Lauren, Samantha, Ellie, Katie T. - are all in Austin, but I can't go back and see them now for all of the important things because now I have obligations in Dallas just for living here. Thanksgiving and Christmas at Katie's? With Mike's fire pit and so much delicious beer... Oh, I need that. I am anticipating the expectations Ex. #1's family will have for me to share the holidays with them but I will have to be in Austin, I'll be back the next day for work, I promise.

I Love Museums!

Ellie and I went to the Texas Memorial Museum today. It is full of fossils and native Texas creatures. It's always free so you should all go. It's kept really cold so it's great for an August day. I'm glad I have a friend as nerdy as I am to get excited about this stuff. This huge creature hangs in the main gallery. It has a 40 ft wing span !

Water dweller's head, perhaps Ellie remembers it's name, she is good at things like that.  

It LOOKS like it would be related to an Armadillo, but it is actuallly more like a giant sloth. At least this is the word I got from Ellie. 

The American Renaissance Gets Hot & Steamy

Ellie and I laughed about this exerpt just the other day. The Author is VERY PASSIONATE about Hawthorne:

"But I already feel that this Hawthorne has droped genminous seeds into my soul. He expands and deepns down, the more I contemplate him; and further, and further, shoots his strong New England roots into the hot soil of my Southern Soul"

-Wilson, J.C. The Hawthorne and Melville
Hawthorne and His Mosses By a Virginian Spending July in Vermont July friendship

5 o'clock and Foul As Ever

I originally began this entry as a rant about Security, as is so often the case.

I'm just so gross and negative today. I have been since I woke up last night. Maybe it's the weird dream I had, maybe it has to do with how much death and depressing Ellie and I talked about yesterday, though it didn't bother me at the time, in fact I laughed about it quite a bit.

Maybe it has something to do with my diet and lack of exercise, or hormones, but I'm unhappy. I printed out a food journal, but I can't start using it today, not after eating two doughnuts and a bag of chips. I just want to go to bed after I get off of work, but I know I can't do that with how close my first test is. I even got insecure about Ex. #1 tonight because it seeded like I hadn't talked to him in a long time when in fact, I last spoke with him the day before yesterday. I haven't had that sort of problem in months. He actually had tried to call me, I just missed it.

So here are some goals I have for myself for today to try and help improve me and my mood:

1. Take a textbook to the fitness center and multi-task
2. Only have one coffee, no soda
3. Go to bed at 2:30pm, wake up at 9:30pm and exercise

Maybe my food journal will start tonight at 9:30, after I exercise. I've heard it improves body rhythms to exercise right after waking up, I've also heard it can improve mood.

Any other suggestions?

It's the Little Things..

For all of you who were having trouble sleeping last night don't worry, Ex. #1's eye is fine. He went to the Doctor today and they gave him some eye drops that I assume are anti-inflammatory. He has decided that once his moron-friend gives him the $111 he is owed he will break-off any left-over ties to that guy.

Unless someone calls me tomorrow it looks like Millie will be going to Dallas Saturday to live with Ex. #1. Now that she is healthier she is quite the puppy! She has chewed up both of her bowls, a dog-brush, her old collar, and pulled her bed out of the crate and strewn pieces of it about the back yard. You would think that she didn't have any toys out there but she does! All kinds of durable, chewable things. She even ate a tiny lavender seedling and the pot it was growing in. Bless her little puppy heart, I am going to miss her. She slept with me today all snuggled up like a hairy little heater.

I found the point I need on my test, now all I need is contact with the professor so that I can get the point, and get my passing grade. If he doesn't email me tomorrow I am calling him on Monday.

My little sister had a date tonight! My parents were standing in the driveway when he brought her home - How embarrassing! They never did that stuff to me, but I never had dates either.

Isn't it weird how you can go a long time knowing someone very generally with out really knowing anything about them? I knew Kerri on the bus for 2 years before knowing anything about her and now I'm SO GLAD I met her. Ellie was in my NALit class last semester and I knew only who she was and now that we are in the same class I know so much more about her. It was the same way with Tracey, and Alex. Apparently I am really good at making last minute friends. But Ellie and I talked for 1 1/2 hours today after class instead of studying or going home. Hopefully she was enjoying herself and not thinking, "My God does this girl shut up?" I tried not to be my usual self and let her have her word in edgewise. It amazes me that I have such incredible people around me at al times and I never know it.

I got a new camera, expect to see more pictures soon, as well as an audio clip on my profile. Yay! So far all I have recorded is a small clip of me singing, I'm not sure how I feel about that idea.

And last: Security. Last night he said, "Where I'm living - Taylor got them a new HEB and they got them a new Wal-Mart. I'm excited to see what they got in that new Wal-Mart." I wanted to ask who Taylor was and why he was handing out stores to people. Instead I decided to burst his bubble and said, "I bet they have all of the same things all of the other Wal-Marts have." I also realized last night that he has a hump, like Igor. This explains why he walks sort of hunched over. He scoots along with his head sorta tilted (plus his ticks). My mom said she felt sorry for him. I told her to try and work with him two days in a row and see how she felt, So she told me I should be praying about this.