Now that I am really, really, nearing the end of my time at UT I am already turning my eye towards WHAT ELSE I CAN LEARN NOW. I did the smart thing and went for something I thought would be moderately useful, and it will be. But NOW what will I do? Well, just as I suggested that Casey learn about Automotive Technology once he's done getting his degree I have a list of things I want to learn. Tied for being the first thing I want to go after is an associates degree in ACC's Interpreter Preparation Program or Education. The rest are listed in alphabetical order:

Anthropology - I loved physical anthropology when I took it in college. I like this kind of scientific history.

Art - You all know it - I love making things. This would force me to do so, and I would enjoy every minute of it - unless there was foam core.

Creative Writing - I need work here. The personal narrative and I get along quite well, it is fiction and academic writing that usually stump me. What I was to work on that!

Culinary Arts - I love food. I would like to be able to do more with it.

Dance - My big sister got to be the ballerina. I want a piece of the graceful, rhythmic action.

Geology - I LOVE ROCKS. I had fantasies involving plate tectonics when I took this course my freshman year. I learned more last semester with Oceanography. Hooray Rocks!

Health & Kinesiology - Well, if I am going to go for dance I may as well try for coach or aerobics instructor too. Plus, I find fitness, health, and nutrition really fascinating. Blame it on being a vegetarian athlete (only a tiny, tiny, bit- but I do like to research how a rider's fitness affects elements of equine sports).

History - My brother studied History. I have never been very good at it, and I have never understood why. It is something I would like to know and be good at. I mean, especially if I am going to know, and be good at, everything else!

Jewelery - see "Art."

Music - I miss singing and sight reading. I'd like to be able to add piano to my list, and I'd like to improve my understanding of sheet music. I always just followed the notes instead of reading them.

Personal Fitness Trainer - see "Health & Kinesiology." Plus, I may be able to improve my ability to give riding lessons. And, if I've made it this far down on my list I'll be a very active person, and this will only make sense.

Photography: People - portrait focus - Who do you know with a blog who doesn't also like to take pictures? Yeah.

Radio - Television - Film - Because I couldn't get into the college of communications at UT. I think that my Scandinavian film class makes me a good candidate.

Sociology - I liked Sociology a lot in college. In some of my education courses we very lightly touched on various sociological viewpoints.. Much like History it is something that I want to understand and be good at.

Art Metals - see "Art." Plus, what girl doesn't want to learn to weld?

I think that these will keep me occupied for the rest of my life, but won't I be smart? The nice part is that some of the classes I had at UT will apply, and many of them require the same courses, so I will be able to get to the good stuff quickly. Who knows, maybe with that sort of advantage, it would only take me 20 years.

And the silly part is that I really want to try and do it. I guess I'll go and see an advisor in the fall about resuming the interpreting program. I need to retake at least one sign language course to regain my fluency and memory. Otherwise, I have already fulfilled many of the requirements. Woo-Hoo!

I look forward to...

... not working weekends so that I can sit in a comfy chair and skim the paper (probably online - it wastes less paper) while drinking my morning cup of tea and listening to weekend public radio.

I do not currently have a "morning cup" because I am always rushing off - and who has time to make sure they're not over-steeping their green tea (over-steeping = bitter!) when trying to brush teeth, shower, dress, and leave the house in a ten minute window (that is quickly closing)?

I don't know that I will ever REALLY make it into that chair, but I sure hope I find something similar.

I feel the semester creepin' in

MWF - 9-10am Individual Learning Styles
TTh - 9:30-11am Chaucer
(Enough time to finish all of my homework?)
3:30-5pm Contemporary Short Fiction

This is it. I am entering my final semester at UT. Holyfuckingshit!
I haven't quite wrapped my mind around it yet, I probably won't until I have to get a job. I know it is going to fly by. With only 3 classes it shouldn't be too hard to bust ass and do well.

Yikes!

See The Q cry in a good way. Hooray humanity in the new year!

Man Is Rescued by Stranger on Subway Tracks

Ideal Self:

Recalled from a previous post - here are some things I mean to change to work towards my ideal self.

* Salad in a bag. I honestly eat approximately 3 bags of salad a week. NO JOKE. I go for the Ceaser Supreme, and I eat the whole bag for dinner. No, wait - don't look at those nutrition facts! Please know first that I don't use much of the dressing so that I can cut back on fat and calories.
Ideal Bite touched on it in October with a daily tip titled, "Too Lazy to Toss a Salad?" And why don't I just buy three smalls heads of romaine and a huge bottle of dressing? Cheaper, less waste, less guilt - what's my problem?

* Books. I am poor. I believe we've established this at some time in the life of my blog. If not, well, now you know. I love books and the way they look, feel, smell, and read. So I especially love bookstores - where hypnotic time erasing music is piped in quietly through invisible speakers so that they can hold you captive and get you to buy as many words as possible. I usually stick to the bargain books and I still leave broke with heavy bags. More bang for my buck with Half Price Books or the Library (how about NO buck?), so I should just do it. Again, Ideal Bite has some neato facts about rent/borrow/buy used vs. new.

* Clothes. I am a little more poor in this paragraph than I was in the last. I'm not sure how it happens, but money vanishes around here. I want a lot of stuff. More than I can afford or need. Especially since I don't dress in trends - I'm too afraid to. What I need to do is shop at places like Goodwill, any thrift store in Austin and, for my "trendy stuff " go to Buffalo Exchange and pay little more than I would at Goodwill.

*Location, Location, Location. I need to move (see the maps for full understanding). There are financial things I have to deal with before I can afford this. Still. I like to call it my 20 mile spread.




Sadly, The complicated schedule I currently hold makes it impossible for me to take advantage of Capitol Metro - save the shuttle bus I take to campus from a stop near work. I try and park-n-ride.

*Body Care. Are all, or at least MOST of my products biodegradable and cruelty free? Um... They are all Suave. I think that they test on animals? It is actually unclear WHAT is going on:

"What is Suave’s policy on animal testing?
Suave and Unilever share your concern over this important
matter and we are committed to the elimination of animal testing. We do NOT test
any of our home or personal care products on animals except where required by
law or government regulation. We will continue to work for alternative methods
by participating in industry and scientific programs as well as to support
legislation that promotes the elimination of animal testing."

www.suave.com

The thing about all-natural, cruelty-free, biodegradable products? They cost more than $2.00 a bottle. Yeah, I wish I could afford Burts Bees products. But I can't, so I guess it's best if I go with a company that is saying that it wishes that it didn't have to, and is trying to find alternatives (I think), and fits my budget.

Commence to Unburdening

I cut off ten inches of hair.

I cleaned out the bathroom cabinets. My bedroom is next.

Hold your breath, plug your nose - Here we go!

Borrowing from Madge who has 'taken' from Kate:
Done
Want to do

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said I love you and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk.
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe.
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an expert
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one important author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Identity crisis.

I'm in one.

I know this because of my Adolescent Psychology class. A couple of weeks ago I wrote a reaction paper to our 'Identity' chapter. You'd be surprised how difficult it is to write about yourself. My first paper was easy. I'm a blogger, of course I can write about myself. This one was different. I knew the terms, I knew what they meant to a hypothetical subject, but I had trouble placing myself. For any person this would be difficult. After all, I have several identities: student, girlfriend, family member, waitress, etc. However, it seems that all of mine are up in the air - swapping limbs and trading clothes so that every time I review them they are different.

A nice little Wikipedia article about Erik Erikson sums up the identity crisis nicely for those of you not in an Adolescent Psychology class:

"people experience an identity crisis when they lose "a sense of personal sameness and historical continuity". "

I know who I want to be, and for the most part it hasn't changed in 10 years. I have though. I've moved farther away from my ideal self (another vocab word kids). It's maddening, confusing and I'm having a little trouble with it. I am not the person I want to be. I am disappointed with myself, and I'm not sure how I got here.

My goal in life is to make as little impact on the world as possible, and as big an impact on humanity as possible.

I am not doing either. I know, I know - I HAVE done a lot of other really important things in the last year, and maybe in the end they'll help me become who I'd like to be... but right now I just feel like shit.

I am leaving quite the "footprint" in my wake kids... it makes my stomach tight to think of how wasteful I am. I am materialistic to a disgusting point (to me) - you've seen my wish lists.

I have about as much spirituality in my body right now as I do folic acid, and I can tell you that the folic acid is below the suggested level.

I read all of Hungry Ghost last night. Even at the end of the book the protagonist is not among the most spiritual I've met, but it made me feel empty to compare myself, even though the character was pocked with flaws.

There is the idea in the book of the possible co-existence of Catholicism and Buddhism. Really, Christianity and Buddhism - details - I am not becoming a Buddhist. I am not fully embracing my Catholic roots. I have beliefs that I think may range between the two, though I'm not sure. I feel a lack of connection to any great power, and I think I need to feel that to feel better.

"What? You feel poorly?" You ask. Right, I haven't quite mentioned that yet.

I feel like I need to be silent for a week, and like I should fast. I feel like I need to be unburdened. I have so much STUFF that my hands never touch.
I feel like I need to spend a weekend out at Enchanted Rock. Hiking, sweating, camping, breathing. I need dirty hair and dirty clothes and quiet.

"simplify" was once my mantra. I'm bringing it back.