December 19, 2005


I am back in Austin. The last month has sucked.

If I had been outside of it I might have found it comical - Ex #1 apologizing for making it impossible to write a paper, and then the next day - once I got an extension for said paper - sitting in a chair behind me while I tried to work, crying audibly.

Apologizing for doing one thing, then immediately doing another spiteful thing, and then begging for forgiveness.

He was upset with me because I didn't cry enough.

Now everything I say has "attitude."

Then there was the really good stuff. He listened to me! After we went to Half Price Books one day, where I had searched through the games section for a scrabble game, he went out and bought one, though he has never played. He went and fed the horse for me and even said he kind of enjoyed it. he also went to watch me teach a lesson.

He told me I was beautiful when I needed to hear it, and remembered that I had said Monday that I wanted to take advantage of the Fish and Chips special at work on Friday - and brought it home for me when I didn't work that day.

I left today. I drove to Austin. I managed to only consume 4 drinks all night. Tomorrow may be different. I have to see him one more time, to get the last of the stuff.

I haven't cried about it all day. As I drove into Williamson County the cloud cover broke. Anyone superstitious? I think that is a sign.

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