Tonight I made this vegetarian gumbo. Only, I never thoroughly follow directions. So I used okra from the garden (I eye-balled the amount), fresh green pepper, added about a cup of vegetable broth, and used 3/4 cup of boil in bag brown rice (it is all I had, and made up for the time it took to saute the green pepper. I do not know what I will do with the other 1/4 cup of rice). I threw in the okra at the same time as the rice. I didn't shop at Whole Foods, where I assume they have spicy cajun vegetarian sausage, so instead I bought Boca Bratwurst, and microwaved them just long enough to thaw so that I could slice them.

 It is very good. Casey says that the fake meat actually tastes like meat. More so than any he has ever tried. That led to a discussion that challenged my vegetarianism. After all, my explanation has always been that I did not like meat much when I decided to change my diet. So if I like this fake meat, I must like real meat. Not quite. I know that this is fake meat. Part of what I didn't like about real meat, was the fact that is was animal. There were other things, too. I don't like the texture of a steak or pork chop, or chicken. I could always just go without it when I was a kid, before I put two and two together. And then there was that one hunting trip I went on... can you see where this goes?

 In the past few years I have added fish to my diet, but really, I could do without it. I included it as a concession to my ex while we were dating, and it has stayed in my diet as a convenience in times of poverty (thank God for Hill Country Fair canned tuna) and when dining out with my family. I am still pretty limited in this realm as well. I mostly stick to tuna, catfish, tilapia and salmon. The tuna is usually in a can, the others are usually in a restaurant, purchased by a family member. I can't think of a time I have ever craved fish. In fact, often when I take tuna to work for lunch I find myself starving come lunch time and desperately trying to find away around eating what I brought for lunch. So I constantly consider removing it from my diet again, but then wonder what the hell I'll do the next time my grandparents really want to eat at Applebees, or Casey's family wants to eat at Babe's which serves meat, meat, meat and catfish. I finally have an informed grasp on my nutrition, and I realize how unhealthy my diet could be five or six years ago. I'm having a hard time thinking through this one, so I just hang out on the side of guilt ridden opportunity.

 Anyway, I have a whole post that focuses on nothing but my guilt issues forthcoming. Look forward to that one!