May 2, 2007

Florida's Flourish

Back in February Madge sent Florida, the model horse found in her yard while mowing, to Texas. After spending months in the air-conditioned luxury of my room he decided that he was finally going to use that English degree he got years ago - He is going to write a novel! Florida has embarked on a series of interviews to research the types of careers "traditional" (his term, not mine) horses might embark on. He asked me to post parts of the interviews here to drum up excitement about the novel. How could I say no?


Florida's first interview was with Faux Pas. He is the closest thing to a model horse a traditional horse can be: a pet. Pets work sporadically and are over-compensated for what little work they do, as far as Florida can tell. Faux Pas' boss is a young lady named The Q.


The Q recently changed Faux Pas' job description so that he is once again required to do something - other than consume food - at least twice a week. He is not happy:


Florida noticed that THIS work does not look difficult. Trotting in a circle? If Florida's legs moved he could totally do it. Florida thought that The Q had the harder job, actually. Can you imagine trying to keep a horse that weighs almost a ton at the end of a line? "If I weighed that much as you, I'd do what I want," Florida later confided in Faux Pas. Once Faux Pas had all of his muscles loose he gave a couple of bucks. "Hey!" he yelled at Florida, "I love it when the weather changes, do you? Doesn't it make you feel great!? It makes me want to be a colt again and pursue my dreams of rodeo work!" Florida was embarrassed for Faux Pas and tried to look away, but Faux Pas was like a train wreck, and Florida's neck is made of plastic.


Finally, Florida realized why Faux Pas was hired into this "pet" position. He was the best in the business. Not only could he entertain with his eating skills, but he also had a degree in therapeutic interaction and his coat was great for absorbing tears. Faux Pas' advantage though, the reason for the overcompensation, was that he was also as beautiful as a model horse.

After the interview Florida was overheard asking Faux Pas if he had an agent.

1 comment:

Madge said...