A Lack of Silence

When I first met Ex #1 I was very involved in ASL. I was still taking classes in the interpreting program at ACC, I could walk up to any deaf person and have an intelligent conversation, and I was still planning to go to graduate school for Deaf Ed.

My current ASL skills are that of a second semester student (SUCK!), and I get nervous and sign things wrong or my hands shake like a plastic tarp on a windy day.

When Ex #1 came to pick up his money and drop off my buffet he told me that one of my Deaf* customers from the restaurant had come in looking for me. She had wanted to offer me a job. I don't know if this is true or not, but if it is I am disappointed. There is little I would like more than to get back into ASL and the Deaf community.

Mr. Adventure did not know me back when I was so passionate about so many things. I am still passionate about quite a few, but I sleep more now, so I learn and do less. I think that because he hasn't witnessed that part of me, he doesn't realize how important it is to me. He knows that I know sign, and that I occasionally eaves drop on his Deaf neighbor, but that's about it.

The other night we drove past the Texas School for the Deaf and he said, "Hey, you could go there." At one time this was my professional goal. I wanted to be able to teach at TSD. I wanted to help Deaf students improve reading levels so that they could go anywhere and read anything.** I told him this and he said, "Huh, I guess you really like Sign Language then. What is it about it that you like?"

And I had the HARDEST time explaining it. So I think I'll try again.

ASL is the most expressive language I have ever seen. It's beautiful, it's honest. It's total body communication (except for your ears, of course). There are signs that communicate an idea that would take an entire sentence to convey. If you don't know a sign for something, you can show someone what you mean through mime. It's almost like acting, and the story telling is so much fun to do, or to watch. Most importantly, it made sense to me immediately. I have never grasped a language so thoroughly or so quickly. Hell, I've been working in restaurants for 5 years and I still don't know kitchen Spanish.

I miss ASL a lot. I am half considering just going back to ACC to get certified to interpret, think about returning to UT later. I miss the quickness of hand and eye I used to have. The grace it gave me. I miss leaving class and feeling like I had to maintain my silence.

I miss the silence a lot.

* Deaf with a capital "D" signifies someone culturally deaf, not just a person with a hearing impairment. A hearing child of Deaf adults could possibly be "Deaf."

** Deaf adults statistically have a very low reading level. Some theorize that this is due to the lack of a base language early in life. Hearing loss is being detected earlier and earlier, but still ASL is not based on English. It has a completely different sentence structure, and there is, as with any language, not always a direct translation. This can make communication between Deaf and hearing people very difficult, and can make comprehension of reading material difficult as well. I wanted to help the people who needed help in this area, because I am a book lover, and can't imagine not being able to read what ever I wanted.