Boo Hiss Ex Bad

I AM SO MAD.

Ex #1 called the other day and told me that if I would give him the $1,600 I owe him he would bring me my buffet this week when he comes down for SXSW. Originally I told him that there was no way he'd get that money from me. He'd only get $200 a month like we had agreed.

I talked to my parents about it. My Dad told me he didn't want me at home alone while Ex #1 was in town, so I made arrangements to stay else where. I found a way to get the money.

Ex #1 called again today and said that he had something he had to do in Denton on Thursday, so he wouldn't be able to stay but Wednesday night. He wanted to sleep on my couch. I said a resounding, "No." Which really upset him, but I didn't want to tell him that I was afraid of him. I told him that I didn't know what to expect from him anymore. I told him that we can't even talk on the phone, why would he want to spend time here? He told me he'd sleep out in front of my house, in his truck. I said, "No." again. I offered to help him find a place to sleep, but he'd have none of it. Honestly, I don't know how comfortable I am with the idea of being here alone while I get my buffet, but I don't really have a choice.

I told him that after this I am not going to communicate with him anymore. He told me that he loved me, and that he has nothing but good will for me. He also said that when I found the good person he knows still exists inside me he hoped that, for my sake, he is still around. That when all of this "darkness" passes he hopes I can still find him.

I let him know that all of his talk about our future, and all of the questions he asks me make me really angry. The "What did I do?" questions, which I have answered before:

"You told me that if I was going to live with you post break up I'd have to continue to put out."
"You looked for and read my diary and then confronted me about it because you were mad at me for what I had written."

And so on.

That good person still exists. She's just tired of being stepped on, and kicked and told that she'd not a good person because she did something for herself finally. And she's sticking to it. And she's happier.