November 9, 2005

I just failed a statistics test, which I think would have happened whether or not I'd overslept and missed the first 20 minutes.

I talked to my mom last night and gave her a very vague idea of what is going on. She told me that I could come home at any time, and that if it interrupted my school schedule, so be it. You know my mom is serious when she says it's okay to take a break from school.

I think that Ex #1 hates me too. We're somewhere between reveling in each other's presence and purposefully hurting one another. He told me he loved me about every 15 minutes yesterday, and also told me he knew I was about to leave. He says he's waiting for the other shoe to drop. Today he told me that maybe I am the one who would be careful, and that I am being mean. When I realized I had overslept and began crying because I'd previously salvaged my statistics grade, and this would ruin it, he held me and told me it would be okay, and that he loves me, and I cried into his t-shirt.

This is the worst possible time for all of this to happen. The worst place. I feel like I miss him. Right now it's like I miss everything.

School is over after Thanksgiving, RIGHT after Thanksgiving. I may take some time off.

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