Missed Connection

Too often, I am noticing sweet details left behind by my big girl, too late. Tonight dinner was rushed and thrown together. I wasn't hungry, and I was trying to get the little girl to bed early so I could make it to the grocery store for Thanksgiving necessities before my husband had to leave to help a friend. I sat at the dinner table with my family, distracted and finishing a grocery list. The big girl had gotten herself a place setting - a circular braided fiber mat, a coral colored cloth napkin with gold polka-dots, a retro crocheted rust and cream color trivet under a blue and white ceramic coaster for her drink. It is a miracle her drink did not spill. It was all so meticulously placed. My heart explodes a little at the joy she brought herself with this setting. At dinner I let her put her own parmesan on her pasta, and while I was in the kitchen wrapping things up, her little sister yelled about wanting some too. When I returned to the dining room, the big girl had carefully shaken out a reasonable amount onto her sister's meal. It was such a sweet gesture. A part of me wants to wake her up and tell her, "I am so proud of the thoughtful and kind person you are!" but I have a personal rule that you never wake a sleeping baby unless there is an emergency. Four years is totally a baby. Plus, it's a totally dick move to wake anyone up when it's not an emergency, if they didn't ask you to.