August 22, 2009

I'm drowning.

I have hit a low. I got a call from the barn owner today about Faux Pas. Technically, he's fine, but he's over-due for worming, he's two weeks past due for his shoes. If something isn't done soon (something IS being done today) it could cripple him. I am an asshole. I've gotten so wrapped up in my own things that I have ignored him. I haven't been out to see him in a week and a half. On my calendar I have time to see him scheduled twice a week - Wednesdays and Sundays. Why is that so difficult? I don't understand how I can love him so much and feel so bad about it and then fuck up so big. I have to do better. He is being wormed today, and a farrier is coming out. I will be there tomorrow morning, just like my calendar says. While I am there I am going to ask about the vet coming out to float his teeth. Regardless of whether I make it out Monday or Tuesday, I will be out Wednesday, just like my calendar says. I've been good about his supplements, and need to be good about the rest.
I don't need something else to make me feel bad about myself. This one is within my control. In the mean-time I am going to cry a little bit more.

1 comment:

Korey said...

Hope you and Faux Pas are both doing much better. :)