April 29, 2008

It used to be that I would air out all of my troubles and fears about my relationship with Casey here on my blog. Now that we're perfect I don't have to do that anymore.
So we're not perfect - no relationship is - this is the closest I've ever had though. My mom once told me that if the man I was with didn't still make my heart flutter, and he wasn't everything I had ever wanted, it wasn't worth it and I should leave. Lucky Casey, that is what I re-live every Sunday when we have so much time that all we do is look at each other, and he always says, "Why are you so weird on Sundays?" because I get very affectionate and JUST LOOK AT HIM from different angles, and different depths. Sometimes I take time to touch his face, back, arms, chest, and tickle the irresistible arch of one foot. So he makes my heart flutter, and he's all I ever wanted, but we still are not perfect.
Maybe early on when I did air out my issues it made him more aware of how important they were to me. When I try and talk about something serious I don't think he takes it that way, and he makes a joke, or shuts off, and it doesn't seem to sink in. It has been the same issue for a year and a half, and I don't know how many times I am supposed to bring it up. So I decided to bring it up where I know he'll see it. He knows exactly what I am talking about, due to the maddening repetition of my requests and the conversation we have over and over. Casey, it is a really big deal to me. Can we please talk about it one more time and try and figure something out? I'm going to lose my shit over this soon, and I've tried really hard not to up until this point. I have tried REALLY REALLY hard to do all of the things I should, so please help me out and meet me half-way?

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