February 1, 2006

Motivational Mantra

I'm sitting, drinking my wonderful, cheap beer. Thunder is rolling in, finally, from distant clouds that have been spitting strobes of light for hours, never producing a sound. Tonight would be an amazing night to have someone to sleep next to: window cracked just enough to hear the sounds of the tumultuous weather outside while wrapped in one another.

I'm going to make it through this funk and come out an adult on the other side.

That adult I'm always longing for? That's who I will be when I am over this. I will have my own place. I will have a savings account again. I will have a sense of myself that has been missing.

I will be less hateful. The times I lay in bed and cry over petty offences will be few and far between. And this blossoming confidence will be a mature, noticeable thing.

I've changed since I left him. I feel prettier and I've received more compliments. Though there have been a few disappointments, I'm excited about what's to come. I know I'm going to be better when this is over.


Madge said...

You're certainly motivating me, if that helps.

Emily said...

Oh you're so lucky... the thunderstorms here in Colorado aren't anything like the ones in Texas and I miss them terribly.