health minded hypocrite

I've been really proud of myself lately because I lost 15 lbs, and it has stayed off the past month or so. People actually notice and I work hard to eat well. I buy whole grain and organic food as often as I can, I try to eat a salad a day, avoid soda, ect. Lately I've even been exercising. I felt good yesterday when I got home. I felt *pretty* and happy (which comes and goes, but was nice to have around).
I watched a little bit of Flab to Fab on Vh1 while I ate and I started thinking about other facets of my lifestyle. I drink a ton of coffee, where I used to avoid caffeine all together. I will finish jogging, or be walking back to the bus after yoga and frantically search for a cigarette. I try and convince myself it's not so bad. After all, they are additive free, but it's not quite enough. I think it's so funny that I shy away from pesticide laden foods, but I suck down cancer like there's no tomorrow.