August 21, 2011

Lately I have been stressed out. It is confusing for me to be so content at home, and so anxious at work. I am so happy to be at home that I don't want to go in early - which is the only way to get overtime and thus work towards getting caught up. The whole thing has been building, and I have been getting less happy by the day. My stress had starting to leak out into other areas of my life, and it was starting to cause some problems. Problems with friends problems with digestion, and things at home had started to get behind, too. The carport was a mess, dishes, laundry,and dog hair. Holy fucking shit, dog hair.
Friday night I got to hang out with friends, and then Saturday I helped Lauren move. She has moved a lot in the last year and a half, and so this felt just as familiar as sitting on her driveway late at night would, as we did all through high school.
Helping her move got me inspired and when we got home I started in on the car port. After dark I moved on to the dishes, and then the kitchen. I went to bed at that point, but got up again this morning to start in on garden work that needed to be done before it reached 105 degrees. I repotted some winter squash whose bed is not ready yet, planted some okra seedlings, tested all of our lawn chairs to see which need to be trashed, and I am about to organize my flower pots. Once Casey is up we will devise a plan to turn the compost, and see if there is anything good down there. If I'm lucky, I'll tie up all of the tree branches and saplings we cut down so the city will pick them up, and get the bathroom cleaned. It comes off like some sort of manic to-do list, and maybe that is what it is, but being productive like this makes me feel so much better.
It is also the beginning of the school year, and I tend to feel motivated this time of year. Though the forecast predicts it will be 105 degrees for the next week at least, I know that cooler weather is coming. Along with it will be open windows, baking, time outside without the threat of dehydration, and all of my favorite holidays, which means more time with friends and family.
What's the point of all of this? I don't know. What I do know is that right now there is lots of change, I feel optimistic, and I think everything is going to turn out well.

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