December 19, 2009

I'm still feeling nostaligic...

Have I mentioned before that I feel guilt, embarrassment, and shame sort of exponentially? It follows me around way past it's expiration date. I think of various events while I am driving because I have no radio in my car to distract me. The memories are particularly obnoxious now that I don't smoke because I have no stress relief on hand.
Today's most ridiculous embarrassing memory is from middle school. I was probably thirteen years old, and Danielle and I were rollerblading with our favorite boys: Stephen, Chris, Chad and Matt (may I also add, that since it has been more than a decade since this happened, I may have imagined certain parts?). We'd been skating around town all day (that is possible when you live in a small town), probably got someone to buy us cigarettes, and ended at Chris' house about 4 pm (I had to be home by 5 most weekend days for dinner). Chris lived in a cul-de-sac and he and the other boys had built a ramp in the drive way - a real ramp, too, not just cinder blocks and a piece of plywood. The boys had spent a good amount of time showing off on the ramp, and Danielle and I spent just as much time watching the go up and down, and up and down the ramp, pining for them. Danielle tried it once or twice and did well. I was too chicken to do it in front of the boys. For some reason, they all went inside (probably to smoke pot), and Danielle and I were left in the driveway. Now that we were alone I was willing to try the ramp. The first few cautious tries went off without a hitch. I got a little too sure of myself, and the fourth try brought me down on my ass, hard. Danielle and I just looked at each other for a second. I think she was worried I was hurt, but the horror was just setting in for me. I was on my ass at the bottom of the ramp in very plain view from the large living room window. I couldn't tell who might be able to see me, because it was darker inside than out, but it felt as if they were all just on the other side, laughing. I got up and brushed myself off, told Danielle I had to get home and skated to Sarah C's house, where I called my mom and told her I'd gotten too hot skating and had thrown up in some one's yard so that she'd come and get me and I wouldn't have to skate home.
I don't know if anyone other Danielle saw what happened that day. I'm pretty sure that if I asked her now she wouldn't remember it. The boys have killed enough brain cells that they wouldn't remember it either if they had seen it, but STILL, when I thought of it this morning my stomach tied up in a knot. As I realize more ridiculous stomach clenching memories, I'll let you know so that as a chorus we can say, "Oh, Q! You are so strange!" and laugh.


Em said...

Dude, did I ever tell you about the time in sixth grade when some jerk tripped me in the hallway and I fell flat on my face RIGHT IN FRONT OF COACH CARDOSA? I think that reason right there was why we never ended up together. I couldn't look at him for a week.

Lauren said...

That is why having a bad memory is a good thing sometimes. Even if I wanted to remember something like that I couldn't.