Secrets

I had been saving post ideas for next month, but now that I've made a decision I can just talk about these things. Your knowledge of them will be important in later posts, I'm sure.

So are you ready?

Sweet.

1) Mr. Adventure has a real name! Can you believe it? His last name doesn't even start with an 'A.' I had you fooled, right? I've already slipped a few times when posting, but caught my error in a draft stage of the post. It's hard work to keep up with it. I'm sure he will now go by both Mr. Adventure and Casey, his rightful name.

2) And for the second I-can't-believe-I-haven't-said-anything-about-this-yet shocker: Casey has Bipolar Disorder. I think that anyone who had been over to his blog might have deduced that there was something, he's alluded to it before.

I am no stranger to Bipolar disorder and mental illness. My step-brother is severely Bipolar and my father has dealt with depression (I believe it may have been a big contributor to my parent's divorce).

And for all of you who are taken aback at the thought that I could have a healthy relationship with someone Bipolar - (I was going to write an expletive here). Shame on you for being closed-minded. Anyone who has followed along with me for the past few years knows that he's the best partner I've had. He's kind, generous, understanding, and in love with me.

There are occasionally problems. Shit, there are occasionally problems because of my sleep disorder. Are there not occasionally problems in every relationship?

I bring it up now because of those problems. When they crop up I'd like to be able to air them out. I don't want to make him feel shitty, and I know he reads this regularly, but his depression and mania can be hard to talk about sometimes. So this seems like an ideal medium. Sure, sure, it's really public, but I think that is an advantage. It keeps my words in check. I think i will be more likely to not fuck everything up because I can re-read and change things.

There isn't anything too huge going on right now, I'm just feeling a little nervous about it. He's seeming very impulsive, and I'm wondering if I'll lose him. He'll say on comments that I won't, but I feel uneasy.